Future Past Joys
So here I am sitting at the hospital. It’s 6:10 AM. The last time I spent the night in a hospital was a few years back, in Singapore. In Singapore I probably spent a total of 14 nights in the hospital. This time around I am here with Grandpa in Roseville.
I can’t help but look at him while he sleeps and think about things I usually don’t think about. I usually don’t think about my life in a “big picture” view. But as I watch him I think about what it’d be like to be his age and have 82 years behind me. I wonder how i’d measure up. What would I think of myself. Would I be happy with what I’d done with my life? What am I going to wish I did more of? What am I going to wish I did less of?
So often we think of old age and think of everything thats behind a person. But when I’m of an age thats ripe and old, I still want to be thinking about the future. I still want to be thinking about how I can serve other people. How will I be able to love my wife better? I don’t want to stop learning and growing with time. Just because my body may be tired and weary doesn’t mean I want to have a mind and spirit thats tired.
I want every day to still be fresh. I want every person that I come in contact with to still be just as fun and interesting as it is now. Granted there may not be the thrill and excitement of new adventures at that age. But that doesn’t mean I can’t learn to appreciate details all the more. So my question is, “how?”
I wonder if it’s not wrong to say, “live for the past.” Not in the sense that you never live for the future. But rather, live for how you will think of your past. Sure it could be said in a more normal way, “live with no regrets.” Or maybe I should say, “live for future past joys.” Live with no regrets sounds as if you were going to live with a bunch of regrets. I think I like that, Live for future past joys.
September 22nd, 2006 at 3:48 pm
Dave, I’m sorry to hear your Grandfather is in the hospital, he was in such good health the last time I saw him. I hope he doesn’t have too many regrets in his life. At least he enjoyed many, many wonderful grandchildren and was able to be close to them. I’ll be praying for him.